"I SIT and look out upon all the sorrows of the world, and upon all oppression and shame;
I hear secret convulsive sobs from young men, at anguish with themselves, remorseful after deeds done;
I see, in low life, the mother misused by her children, dying, neglected, gaunt, desperate; I see the wife misused by her husband—
I see the treacherous seducer of young women;
I mark the ranklings of jealousy and unrequited love, attempted to be hid—I see these sights on the earth;
I see the workings of battle, pestilence, tyranny—I see martyrs and prisoners;
I observe a famine at sea—I observe the sailors casting lots who shall be kill’d, to preserve the lives of the rest;
I observe the slights and degradations cast by arrogant persons upon laborers, the poor, and upon negroes, and the like;
All these—All the meanness and agony without end, I sitting, look out upon,
See, hear, and am silent."
- 83. I Sit and Look Out. Whitman, Walt. 1900. Leaves of Grass
A few hours from now
I will fall into unconsciousness
and wild feats.
I’ve been feeling the need to fill silence. I turn on the fan in the living room, I light the lemon candles by the sink, I put on BIllie Holiday. Last night I walked around in my loudest dress shoes just to hear the clank against the hardwood floors. With all the movement around me, my neighbors would assume I’m preparing for a party or getting ready for dinner. They’d think I’d have somewhere to be.
"Sometimes I’m scared and I back away
I just can’t go but I just can’t stay.
Half my life it seems to me
I’ve been running around with
Cause I have to stumble in the dark sometimes
Reaching my hands out to see what I find
When I touch some light it feels so sweet and kind."
- Stop Walking on Eggshells