Other stories were less definite, edged in doubt: An editor who had tried to turn a professional relationship into a personal one, a writer who had sent a few too many weird emails. A coworker who couldn’t quite take no for an answer in person, but who never stopped retweeting and reposting articles about feminist issues online.
If you listen to enough stories like this, you’ll start to hear a few themes. These men are not ever that big of a deal. What they do to us is never really that bad in the grand scheme of things, no matter how big it feels at the time. It could always have been much worse. We might just have been misreading the situation. They might not have meant anything by it. They’ve never apologized – but then again, we’ve never asked them to.
The men in stories like this always have just enough power, in their little worlds and in ours, that to confront them would be to court an ordeal, to invite others to question our own memories and motives. It’s always more trouble than it’s worth. If you don’t have hard proof, if you don’t have a police report, then what do you have? Only what you remember. Only what you felt.
“Don’t misunderstand: This is not meant as an apologia for Lost’s ending. I still seethe over the shoddy disposal of core characters like Sun, Jin, and Sayid, I’ve never stopped shaking my head over the Temple (I bet poor John Hawkes hasn’t, either), and the memory of the final gathering in the church still leaves me stunned. How could we slip so far from the gonzo poetry of frozen donkey wheels to the high school notebook curlicues of soul mates ascending to heaven? It was the sight of a towering soufflé collapsing, at the final moment, into mushy, unbaked batter.
But once I began rewatching the series from the beginning, the lump of disappointment I felt returning to my chest took a different form. As the French Lady’s voice crackled on the radio, as all the Desmonds, Faradays, and Juliets still to come beckoned, I realized that I would absolutely submit to the full six seasons yet again, even with the knowledge that the final step would be sideways instead of satisfying. The frustration had changed. I wasn’t upset with what Lost became. What really rankles is that nothing ever took its place.”—The Lessons of ‘Lost’: Understanding the Most Important Network Show of the Past 10 Years «